The Child Mind BlogBrainstorm
Getting Help for Yourself Helps Your Family
July 25, 2011 Caroline Miller
Laura Shumaker has a terrific guest blog at The Thinking Person's Guide to Autism about the importance of getting help for yourself when the stress of caring for a child is overwhelming.View Comments | Add Comment
She describes how her chronic anxiety about her son, the relentlessness of the care he needed, and her resulting sleeplessness produced one health crisis after another until she recognized that she needed help. She doggedly refused to admit how stressed-out she was until an anxiety attack after her son bolted from a restaurant finally made it impossible to hide.
There are many, many parents who've been there: You feel the need to keep reassuring everyone that you're fine, that you can handle it, that the child you love isn't making you miserable. You want to protect him from a burden he doesn't deserve. But as Shumaker writes, the best way to do that is not to tough it out but to take care of yourself. Psychotherapy, group support, medication, respite—any or all can make your life, and your parenting, better.
Teenage Sex: Not Under My Roof!
July 24, 2011 Caroline Miller
Teenagers having sex in their bedrooms at home? A provocative opinion piece in the New York Times argues that Dutch parents stay closer to their teenage children and have more influence over their developing sexual values than their American counterparts by allowing kids to do it at home.View Comments | Add Comment
The writer, Amy Schalet, compares the experiences of two sexually active 16-year-olds, one American and one Dutch. The former says she's never discussed sex with her parents, describing the situation as a de facto "don't ask, don't tell" policy. "She'd like to tell her parents that she and her boyfriend are having sex," writes Schalet, "but she believes it is easier for her parents not to know because the truth would 'shatter' their image of her as their 'little princess.' " The Dutch girl, on the other hand, did tell her parents, and while they initially were upset, they came to terms with it, and the boyfriend is now close to her parents as well.
What's most compelling here is the idea that teenagers don't necessarily have to drift off into a parallel universe, leaving their parents out of touch with where they are and what they're doing—and even more important, who they're becoming. As Schalet notes, when children feel comfortable being honest with their parents about something as awkward as sex, it should be easier for them to ask for help when they need it.
The Challenge of Traveling With Kids
July 21, 2011 Caroline Miller
Whenever I'm at an airport I find myself watching parents and kids—that is, strategies parents use to keep children engaged and contained enough to stay in the good graces of other passengers. When kids have ADHD, autism or some other condition that makes them prone to act out, parents have to be super resourceful—and so many of them are. I admire their creativity and focus—whether or not they're successful.
A mom we know passed on a story about traveling with her 5-year-old son, who has Asperger's. Car rides are "torture" for both of them, she writes; flying is marginally easier. But a recent flight to Florida had an unexpected ending.
Because of an accident that snarled traffic en route to the airport, they arrived late, and had to rush to get to—and through—security. It was critical that she keep her son from getting upset, despite how upset she herself was. "It was obvious the amount of stress I was dealing with," she wrote, "and he was having trouble keeping up. l was trying to remain as calm as possible, to be upbeat, laughing, and saying, 'Run! Keep running!' "
They arrived at the gate just as the doors were closing, and they weren't allowed to board. "I just lost it!" she wrote. "It was me who wound up in tears at the gate and he was consoling me!"
It's important to remember that kids facing serious challenges are deeply resourceful, too, and that their skills can pop up at the most unexpected, and rewarding, times.View Comments | Add Comment
Troubling Suspension Trend in Texas Schools
July 19, 2011 Caroline Miller
A whopping 55 percent of Texas students are suspended in the course of their six years of secondary education, a new study of school disciplinary patterns shows.
The most disturbing thing about this report isn't the level of disruptive behavior it suggests—we know that disruptive behavior is one of the biggest obstacles to learning in some of our schools—but the fact that suspension is a very poor tool for improving that behavior. While it may get a disruptive child out of the classroom for a couple of days—an average of two, notes the Texas Tribune—and give the teacher and other students a reprieve, it appears to act less as an incentive to students to perform better than a disincentive to stay in school.
Many of the children who are acting out in our classrooms have unaddressed psychiatric and learning disorders that lead them to find school very frustrating-frustration they aren't likely to overcome without treatment.
But many more have behavior issues that could respond very well to less individualized behavioral interventions. Indeed, this is a perfect argument for programs like Teacher-Child Interaction Training, which gives teachers much more powerful tools for reining in, and, indeed, helping children themselves to rein in undesirable behavior. At the Child Mind Institute we see kids who have been transformed by this kind of therapy-they weren't bad kids, in fact they were bright and talented kids, but they were out of control. There are millions more like them around the country.View Comments | Add Comment
Vets With PTSD Have a Friend in Court
July 18, 2011 Harry Kimball
The New York Times has a hopeful story about mental health care and the military that still manages to harrow and illustrate the real problems facing our society as a whole when it comes to mental illness. Staff Sgt. Brad Eifert returned from combat tours in Iraq to a life in the US that seemed foreign and aggravating. He had nightmares and panic attacks which he tried to drown in alcohol even as he sought help from the VA that was not particularly forthcoming. "It's normal," he says he was told by a psychiatrist. "You'll get over it."
That didn't happen. Instead, he was arrested after a standoff with police where he fired shots. As Erica Goode notes in the Times piece, "such stories often end in death or prison, the veteran in either case lost to the abyss." But through the almost-magical alignment of many factors—compassionate police, cooperative prosecutors, a forward-looking judge and an amenable military bureaucracy—and a new push to keep veterans with mental health issues out of jail, he is neither dead nor incarcerated. Instead, he is completing a rigorous course of therapy. "We're a long way from this being over," Eifert's mentor tells Goode. But "I'll put my money on Brad getting through this O.K."
The takeaway here is that in at least one community in America, people are realizing that prison is not a good therapeutic model, and that if the symptoms of some mental illnesses like depression or PTSD are recognized for what they are, we can help people. "You increase public safety, you don't have a person reoffending," says the judge who created the first "veteran's court." "And hopefully, that person can become functioning and not suffer the invisible wounds of war." Hopefully, too, we can take this model into the general population, and make a serendipitous fluke a daily reality.View Comments | Add Comment
Leiby Kletzky and Painful Choices for Parents
July 14, 2011 Caroline Miller
The abduction and murder of 8-year-old Leiby Kletzky in Brooklyn is something you don't have to be a parent to feel terrible about. But for every parent who's agonized—as Leiby's parents reportedly did—about when to honor a child's push for independence, the fact that he was abducted on the first day he was allowed to walk part of the way home from day camp by himself is a particularly painful detail. Leiby's parents felt that the very close-knit community of his mostly Orthodox Jewish neighborhood, Borough Park, made the walk safe—or to be more accurate about the way we think as parents, safe enough. No doubt some will criticize that decision. But every parent makes those kind of calculations a million times when deciding whether to let a child do something—especially something new—whether it's a child who wants to cross the street to go to a friend's house by herself or a newly licensed driver who wants to pick up a friend at the airport. There's simply no way to take the risk out of growing up, and that's what makes these decisions so difficult. You use the best judgment you can summon, and hope for the best.
Some news reports today have described Leiby as a child who has autism. We don't know if those are accurate, but if so there's another source of pain for parents of children with autism, for whom the issue of independence is even more fraught than it is for typical children. Children on the autism spectrum are a good deal less predictable than other young children and notorious for getting lost or distracted, making a parent's job immensely more challenging. The confessed killer's report that Leiby asked for a ride, got into the car voluntarily, then seemed unclear about where he wanted to go, is simply heartbreaking, whether he was on the spectrum or not.View Comments | Add Comment
Beyond Asthma: Secondhand Smoke Linked to ADHD, Dyslexia
July 11, 2011 Harry Kimball
Everyone knows that secondhand smoke is bad for everyone, in particular kids, who can go on to develop serious physical ailments because of exposure to nicotine and tobacco products. But a new study suggests that the brains of young people are also vulnerable to the assaults of secondhand smoke, and that a smoky home can have lasting neurodevelopmental effects.
The researchers, who published their results in Pediatrics, write that "more than twofold-increased rates were observed in parent-reported childhood neurobehavioral disorders" in kids exposed to secondhand smoke at home compared with kids who hadn't been exposed. The disorders with elevated risk include ADHD, disruptive behavior disorders, and learning disorders. They also found, according to a report in the Los Angeles Times, that secondhand smoke exposure was linked to a 50% greater probability that children would develop two or more of these illnesses.
The researchers caution that they have not identified a concrete causal relationship between secondhand smoke and childhood mental illness. And they don't yet know exactly how they could be connected. But this study, coupled with research into the link between tobacco/nicotine exposure and physical illness, addiction, and anxiety, should give parents another reason to pause before lighting up at home.
Photo Credit: Flickr user Mykl RoventineView Comments | Add Comment
Wash. Inches Closer to Covering Autism Therapy
July 6, 2011 Harry Kimball
Two recent rulings by Washington state agencies and courts hold promise for parents seeking applied behavioral analysis (ABA) therapy for children with autism. One, by a state health care committee with power over reimbursement policy for state employees and Medicare recipients, has approved two of 6 forms of ABA outright provided that families who receive care enroll in studies. This of course points to the reason that coverage is often denied, the Seattle Times reports: though ABA's efficacy is supported anecdotally and experimentally, the individual character of the therapy means general evidence is not as robust as it could be.
Applied Behavior Analysis
The other decision, by a Superior Court judge, could be even farther reaching. The ruling states that by refusing to cover ABA at all, the state's health care apparatus is violating the Mental Health Parity Act, which mandates that mental health treatments be considered no different than those for physical illness. With so few proven therapies, and the very costly burden of the ones that have shown promise, it is nice to see state officials thinking about the heroic parents and children in families struggling with autism spectrum disorders.
Dr. Bryan King, head of the Autism Center at Seattle Children's Hospital, testified in support of coverage before the committee. Watch video of him here discussing other interventions that can help children with autism.
Photo Credit: Ministère du Travail, de l'Emploi et de la Santé on FlickrView Comments | Add Comment
White House to Acknowledge Military Suicides
July 6, 2011 Caroline Miller
We're glad to see that the White House has decided to reverse a disturbing and damaging policy, dating back several administrations, to deny a presidential condolence letter to the next-of-kin of servicemen and women who commit suicide while deployed in combat.
It isn't just that the hard-line policy against acknowledging those deaths was hurtful to military families who have already sacrificed and suffered for their country. It also amounted to an official denial that combat can have devastating mental health consequences—not only these tragic deaths but post-traumatic stress disorder, which can destroy lives, and families, long after the tour of duty in Iraq or Afghanistan is over.
Refusing to acknowledge those deaths reinforced the stigma attached to mental illness—the same stigma that keeps soldiers from seeking help for emotional distress and, in the most extreme cases, impels them to choose suicide instead. The irony is appalling.
CNN notes that suicides in the Army and Marines, the branches of the armed services most involved in combat in Iraq and Afghanistan, have been rising steadily since 2004, and have now surpassed the national average. And a new study of military children reported by Reuters shows that mental health problems of kids 5 to 17 increase with the duration of their parent's deployment.View Comments | Add Comment