The Child Mind BlogBrainstorm
Teen Suicide and the Oscars
Feb. 23, 2015 Caroline Miller
There were a couple of electrifying moments at the generally snoozy Academy Awards ceremony last night, and one of them was when screenwriter Graham Moore, who won for The Imitation Game, used his Oscar moment to acknowledge that he tried to kill himself when he was 16. He did it, he said, "because I felt weird and I felt different, and I felt like did not belong. And now I'm standing here, and so I would like this moment to be for that kid who's out there who feels weird or feels different or feels she doesn't fit in anywhere. Yes you do. I promise you do."
Moore's excellent shout-out to teenagers who have suicidal thoughts deserved the standing ovation it got. And it was especially welcome because just two days ago another teenager who was creative and clever and different also tried to kill himself—but Draven Rodriguez, unfortunately, succeeded.
Rodriguez was a smart, funny 17-year-old from Schenectady, New York, who had become something of an Internet sensation when he submitted a kitchy image of himself and his cat, against a background of colored lasers, for his high school yearbook picture. The picture was rejected—rules must be followed!—but his principal posed with Draven, his cat, and her Chihuahua for a separate page with a message about the importance of adopting pets from rescue organizations. And the original picture went viral.
Draven's parents haven't shared any more information about what might have been behind his suicide, but they noted his independent streak. At 9, he was allowed to have his hair dyed green, as long as he brought home good grades. His interests included guitar, computers, gaming, running, rowing, and grammar—including correcting his teachers, the Times-Union reports. We don't know if he struggled with depression or anxiety, but he was certainly different.
Moore, a successful novelist as well as a sought-after screenwriter, acknowledged to Dateline Hollywood backstage at the Oscars that he had been depressed as a teenager, and has continued to struggle with depression since then.
We couldn't admire more his decision to use his Oscar win to extend a hand to other struggling teenagers. He said backstage that it had been hard, but he thought, "I'm a writer, when am I ever going to be on television? I might as well use it to say something useful."
Teenage suicides are so often an utter surprise to the people who love them that helping kids who are struggling to be more open about their pain can be a life-saver.View Comments | Add Comment
A Salute to the Academy for Recognizing Mental Health in Film
Feb. 20, 2015 Harold Koplewicz
This year, Hollywood made major strides in recognizing the importance of mental health through the accurate portrayal of psychiatric disorders in film. Reese Witherspoon gave a riveting performance in Wild as a woman healing from the trauma of losing her mother by walking the Pacific Coast Trail and reconnecting with herself. Whiplash showed the stress that's an inevitable part of striving to be the best, and the strong impact teachers can have on their students—for better or worse. In The Imitation Game, Benedict Cumberbatch portrayed genius code breaker Alan Turing in a way that showed just how isolating genius can be. Meanwhile, The Theory of Everything showed not only how ALS has affected Stephen Hawking, but also the emotional burden on his wife and family. For many, movies are the first vehicle through which they see and begin to understand mental health issues, which is why it is so important that these films reflect reality.
More than 15 million American children live with a psychiatric or learning disorder. That's more than the number of children affected by leukemia, diabetes and AIDS combined. Yet historically, Hollywood has rarely told these stories, and when it has, they have often been painted as terrifying or laughable. Thankfully, this is changing.
I am thrilled to see Hollywood creating more and more films over the last five years that accurately portray different types of mental illness and hardship. From Silver Linings Playbook to The King's Speech, these films are making a real difference in how the public views and comprehends mental health.
Mental health is often misunderstood, but it doesn't have to be. Accurate portrayals of mental illnesses like autism or bipolar disorder in the media help the general public better understand the reality behind these diseases. One in five children copes with a psychiatric or learning disorder. Yet parents who notice signs of psychiatric or learning disorders in their children wait, on average, two years to get help for them. There are various reasons for this—parents are scared, they hope their son or daughter will outgrow it, or they think their child is just a late developer. But a major reason people hesitate to get help is because of the stigma attached to mental illness. The fact is, mental illness is real, common and treatable. That's where films like this year's Oscar nominees come in.
These films can change people's minds about mental health and learning disabilities. Though we still have a long way to go when it comes to ending stigma and raising awareness, these films provide a good start. My hope is that as more and more of these stories are told through notable and award-winning movies, parents will feel more comfortable talking to other parents, educators, or health professionals about their children's mental health issues.
It is vital that people be open and knowledgeable about mental health, and much of this begins with what we see in film, television, and the media around us.
I applaud the Academy for drawing attention to these important issues, and I look forward to seeing many more films that accurately portray the difficulties, triumphs, and overall journeys associated with mental health.
Originally published at the Hollywood Reporter.View Comments | Add Comment
Kate Middleton Speaks Up on Kids' Mental Health
Feb. 16, 2015 Caroline Miller
We like our princesses with mettle, and Kate Middleton showed hers today by sticking up for kids who are struggling with mental health issues. We couldn't have said it better: "The stigma around mental health means that many children do not get the help that they so badly need," she said in a video PSA for the first Children's Mental Health Week in the UK. "This needs to change."
The week is the work of a British group called Place2Be, a non-profit that provides school-based mental health support for kids. The group acknowledges that it can be hard for parents to ask for help for their kids, and that talking more openly about mental health opens the door to getting more kids help. As the Duchess of Cambridge puts it:
We need to help young people and their parents understand that it is not a sign of weakness to ask for help. A child's mental health is just as important as their physical health, and deserves the same quality of support. No one would feel embarrassed about seeking help for a child if they broke their arm, and we really should be equally ready to support a child coping with emotional difficulties.
The Duchess, who is pregnant with her second child, spoke about the importance of early intervention to prevent kids from developing more resistant problems when they are older, including anxiety, depression, addiction and self-harm. "Both William and I sincerely believe that early action can prevent problems in childhood from turning into larger ones later in life."
We're delighted that the Dutchess has chosen this focus for her charity efforts. A spokesman for Kensington Palace calls her "a committed champion of issues related to children's mental health and emotional wellbeing." And she has a winning can-do attitude. As she says firmly in closing the PSA:
Together, with open conversations and greater understanding, we can insure that attitudes towards mental health change and children receive the support they deserve.
Watch the PSA here:
Vaccines, Measles, and Roald Dahl
Feb. 3, 2015 Caroline Miller
The battle over vaccinating children took a disturbing turn this week, and I don't mean just the 102 cases of measles now scattered around 14 states. This week vaccinations became a hot-button political issue, as a couple of potential presidential candidates went on record supporting parents making their own decision on whether to vaccinate.
Statements to that effect by Gov. Chris Christie and Senator Rand Paul prompted howls of outrage from epidemiologists, doctors, parents, and others. Collectively they noted that vaccinations are not just an individual lifestyle choice like attachment parenting or avoiding processed foods. Not vaccinating your child affects other children in a dramatic way, making it a major public health risk.
The deep concern here is that the backlash threatens to make opposition to vaccination a rallying cry for conservative skeptics of government (and often science). As a Times headline put it, what's spreading along with measles is polarization, and that doesn't help the cause of getting kids vaccinated.
Much has been written about how bad human beings are at measuring risk—we chronically worry about the wrong thing. In this case, a growing number of families think that the risk to their kids from vaccines—despite the overwhelming evidence that there is no link to autism—is greater than the risk to their kids, and other kids they might infect, from measles.
Oh, the irony. Thanks, in part, to vaccines, we are so unfamiliar with these childhood illnesses that some of us don't understand that they're not just nuisances. The consequences can be deadly.
On this the last word has to go to Roald Dahl, whose 7-year-old daughter Olivia contracted the measles in 1962. She seemed to be recovering routinely when she suddenly couldn't make her hands work. Two decades later, he wrote:
In an hour, she was unconscious. In twelve hours she was dead.
The measles had turned into a terrible thing called measles encephalitis and there was nothing the doctors could do to save her. That was twenty-four years ago in 1962, but even now, if a child with measles happens to develop the same deadly reaction from measles as Olivia did, there would still be nothing the doctors could do to help her.
On the other hand, there is today something that parents can do to make sure that this sort of tragedy does not happen to a child of theirs. They can insist that their child is immunized against measles. I was unable to do that for Olivia in 1962 because in those days a reliable measles vaccine had not been discovered. Today a good and safe vaccine is available to every family and all you have to do is to ask your doctor to administer it.
Dahl's description is still accurate—and bolstered by 30 additional years of scientific research in vaccine safety. I hope more parents will see that not vaccinating is not a harmless decision.View Comments | Add Comment
What Jennifer Aniston's Dyslexia Can Teach Us
Jan. 27, 2015 Harry Kimball
The big news from a recent Hollywood Reporter article on actress Jennifer Aniston is her revelation that she struggled with dyslexia as a young person. She didn't receive a diagnosis, and the comfort and understanding that it can bring, until her early 20s. "I thought I wasn't smart," she tells reporter Stephen Galloway. "Now I had this great discovery."
But what I feel is at the heart of the piece is a discussion of Aniston's resilience. Sure, Galloway presents it in tabloid terms: "Aniston's enduring appeal is rooted in the very fact that she can be hurt, again and again—whether by the Oscars or the Sexiest Man Alive—and she'll endure." But the more interesting stuff is pre-fame, pre-Brad, pre-Cake.
She describes a difficult home life and a critical mother—but also outlets for expression, and other sources of encouragement. Her father's mother: "She was a Greek grandmother who just loved me more than anything." And she embraced acting. As Galloway writes, her dyslexia pushed her "to develop her innate humor," and towards the stage.
Aniston acknowledges in the article that doesn't do much reading because of her dyslexia, and that's a shame. Over the years we've encountered so many talented actors and entertainers who have used their extraordinary reserves of willpower and ambition to succeed despite a learning disorder, and that is admirable. But I don't think they would be any less successful if they had gotten help earlier in life, when it matters most.
Aniston recounts her diagnosis:
I went to get a prescription for glasses. I had to wear these Buddy Holly glasses. One had a blue lens and one had a red lens. And I had to read a paragraph, and they gave me a quiz, gave me 10 questions based on what I'd just read, and I think I got three right. Then they put a computer on my eyes, showing where my eyes went when I read. My eyes would jump four words and go back two words.
Aniston obviously doesn't want for success, not to speak of a public that loves her. But the image of her "Buddy Holly glasses" accidental diagnosis reminds us of how important it is to get help for kids who, like her, think there's something wrong with them because they try just as hard but can't do what other kids do easily. And maybe Jen can lend a hand.View Comments | Add Comment
‘Parenthood’ Wishes Aspie Max a Bright Future
Jan. 23, 2015 Beth Arky
When we first met Max six years ago, he was an undiagnosed grade-schooler who insisted on wearing his pirate costume to school every day and was asked to leave his mainstream setting after his sensory issues led him to push over the gurgling classroom fish tank. Along with his parents, Kristina and Adam, we've watched Max grow into a young man with a passion and talent for photography under the mentorship of Hank, who may also be on the autism spectrum.
Over six seasons, Parenthood has received both high and low marks from the autism community; some parents feel their reality has been depicted accurately and that the show has promoted awareness and acceptance, while other parents as well as autistic adults believe it has candy-coated life on the spectrum. But Parenthood has touched on some important themes associated with autism, including bolting, mainstreaming, bullying and social skills challenges. Katims' own experience as an autism dad has clearly come into play.
The latest episode proved no exception. During Career Week at Chambers Academy—the school founded by Max's parents for kids with developmental and learning differences—Max informed fellow student and aspiring chef Edgar "it probably doesn't matter what you cook because you're probably going to end up unemployed anyway. Autism has an 85 percent unemployment rate." While that statistic is up for debate, there's no doubt that the numbers are bleak, with autistics challenged mightily as they try to transition post-high school into college and/or the workplace.
But Kristina and Adam would have none of it. The fierce advocate mom told her doubting son that she could see a bright future for him because "we've watched you grow in simply amazing ways.... I think you're going to be more than employable."
With a number of storylines still up in the air for what promises to be a tear-jerking finale on Thursday, we wish Max and the Bravermans a bon voyage and thank them for six seasons of compelling TV.View Comments | Add Comment
World's Worst Mom or Free Range Parent?
Jan. 21, 2015 Rachel Ehmke
Would you let your kids walk home alone from the park? It's the way many of us were raised, but the days of Mom sending you out to play in the neighborhood until it's time for dinner are long gone. We think about all the things that could go wrong. Stranger danger. Bullying. Falling and getting hurt. And whether parents consider it or not, there's also a new danger: public censure.
Seeing a kid alone in the park is now a cause for alarm much like an unattended bag at the airport: If you see something, say something. At best the other parents will think you're negligent and say something catty. At worst they'll think you're negligent and call the cops. If this sounds like an exaggeration, moms were arrested twice over the summer for letting kids go to the park by themselves, and something similar happened again this Saturday, when a Maryland woman let her 10-year-old and 6-1/2-year old walk home together from the park. Police saw the kids walking home and pulled over to investigate. Even though the kids said they were fine and were allowed to walk home by themselves, the police drove them home instead, and now Child Protective Services is involved.
"This is no joke," said the mom, Danielle Meitiv. "The threat that they can take my kids is real."
In an interview Meitiv said that when she was growing up she'd go to the bowling alley or library by herself at a young age. "The idea that a parent would escort you somewhere, I mean my mother would have cracked up: 'What are you nuts?' "
A return to this style of hands-off parenting has become something of a movement. Lenore Skenazy, who coined the term free range parenting, argues that letting kids be more independent helps them build self-confidence and become more resourceful. She says the calamities parents fear are unlikely and, far from being endangered, kids who are raised "free range" are more resilient and less anxious-and so are their parents.
Skenazy has a book on the subject and a blog and now, premiering Thursday, a reality show on the Discovery Life Channel called World's Worst Mom, which is what she was called for letting her 9-year-old take the subway alone. In each episode she goes to a different family's house and encourages the kids to do things their parents would have been too afraid to let them do, like learn to ride a bike or take a city bus. The parents are watching, either in-person or on camera, and presumably they come around to the idea that their kids are more capable than they thought.
With parents like Meitiv being investigated for neglect, the show couldn't be starting at a better time. We're looking forward to watching it on Thursday, and hearing what parents think.View Comments | Add Comment
Playing Music Improves Kids' Mental Health
Jan. 6, 2015 Harry Kimball
Our friend Dr. James Hudziak at the University of Vermont College of Medicine takes a holistic view of childhood mental health. As ScienceDaily reports, his Vermont Family Based Approach holds that "the entirety of a young person's environment—parents, teachers, friends, pets, extracurricular activities—contributes to his or her psychological health." And that includes picking up an instrument.
"Music is a critical component in my model," Hudziak says, and now he has brain imaging data to support it. A study published in the Journal of the American Academy of Child & Adolescent Psychiatry suggests that playing music increases cortical thickness—associated with brain health—not only in motor areas, but also in areas associated with behavior regulation, executive function, and emotional control.
This is cutting-edge neuroscience that supports common sense: nurturing a child with engaging pursuits like music will likely have a constructive effect on development. But Hudziak is thinking bigger than a well-rounded childhood, or even prevention. "We treat things that result from negative things," he says, "but we never try to use positive things as treatment."
It's obviously a tall order to get music into the lives of all the kids who struggle with emotional dysregulation, attention disorders, or anxiety, and the study authors recognize this. Furthermore, seriously impaired children often need more help than a music lesson, or even a weekly visit to the therapist. But we all know our mental health care system for young people is broken, and having another tool in the toolbox is music to our ears.View Comments | Add Comment
One Mother's Christmas Wish
Dec. 16, 2014 Caroline Miller
Liza Long, the wonderfully empathetic and courageous woman who two years ago wrote "I Am Adam Lanza's Mother," has written a kind of Christmas letter on her blog that I found quite moving. The good news is that her family, shattered by her son's emotional problems, is now back together, after treatment that has ended his violent outbursts. Last weekend she took her daughter to see her first Nutcracker—a favorite holiday treat for so many mothers and daughters.
At the same time, Long notes that the effective help her family got and the hope with which they approach the future are things so many other families lack. And she cites at least 15 men and women with documented mental illness who were killed by on-duty police officers in 2014. Long sees being open about the "often overwhelming challenges of mental illness" as a critical first step in getting more families access to care. "Without treatment," she writes, "two years after Newtown, for too many families, Christmas is a time of sorrow and loss and grief."View Comments | Add Comment
Two Years After Newtown
Dec. 12, 2014 Caroline Miller
Sunday is the second anniversary of the shootings that claimed the lives of 20 children and six educators at Sandy Hook Elementary School. One of the groups formed in the aftermath of that tragedy, Sandy Hook Promise, has released a powerful video that tells the story of three families who lost children to gun violence. One thing the three stories have in common is missed opportunities.
One is the story of a 16-year-old boy killed by a friend fooling around with his father's shotgun, which had been left in an unlocked closet. The victim's best friend said of the evening that ended in his death: "There were so many red flags that night and we just ignored them. We were kids that thought this would never happen to us."
The second story was about a depressed teenager who killed herself with a gun she took from the trunk of her policeman father's car. While she deflected concern from her family, she posted extensive notes on social media platforms about her suicidal feelings. They're painful to see, including a tweet: "It's like God is torturing me keeping me here."
The third story is that of a 7-year-old boy killed at Sandy Hook. His father, thinking of the shooter, talks of the tragic combination of isolation and access to guns. But he also says, "This doesn't happen overnight or in a week. There had to be multiple markers, multiple opportunities to intervene" that might have prevented the tragedy.
Here's the note he closes on, and a message we endorse: "I think our responsibility as parents transcends our own children; we also need to look out for our neighbors and their children." He notes that sometimes an outsider "will notice and bring light to something almost too close for a family to see."View Comments | Add Comment